Monday's Memory 18

In conference they decided the best thing to do would be surgery and do the fenestration the right way. Not a great option, but at least there was an option. This would be Matthew’s 5th heart surgery. Again, not a good feeling going into this one. These are the words of the cardiologist: “I have indicated to Matthew’s mother that it is difficult to provide any statistical evaluation of the risks involved. Clearly, there is some mortality risk for this procedure. There is also a risk of postoperative bleeding or wound infection. There is some risk of neurologic injury related to either cardiopulmonary bypass, or creation of the fenestration. Most importantly, I have indicated that we have no assurance that recreation of the fenestration will relieve the plastic bronchitis. However, given the expected mortality of 50% or more for plastic bronchitis, Matthew’s parents agree that an effort to recreate a fenestration is reasonable.”

Surgery day came. One month before his 6th birthday. Waiting for surgery is a lot harder with an almost 6 year old who is hungry and understands a little more about what is going to happen to him. Mike said his goodbyes to Matthew and waited in the waiting room. I think I got to go back with him to be put to sleep this time. Most surgeries they did let me go back. That is quite an experience. I am comforted seeing for myself and knowing that he was calm drifting off to sleep but then they rush you out of the room so fast. I always have to hold back the tears.

Obviously, they had to get through a lot of scar tissue so surgery took a while. We finally saw our surgeon who said it was a tough procedure but they got it done. We waited for Matthew to be moved to the ICU so we could go and see him. We waited and waited and waited some more. I grew very anxious and felt like something was wrong. It was taking too long. I stood up and started pacing the waiting room. My heart was pounding. I started praying really hard that Matthew would be ok.

Finally, I couldn’t take it anymore. I said I’m going in. Mike followed and we burst through those ICU doors. The nurse at the front desk saw us and started shaking her head No, like STOP! I stopped. My heart dropped. What was wrong? She looked over to his bed and asked if it was ok for Mom and Dad to come back. I heard some rustling around and then Matthew’s nurse said yeah, they can come back. I turned the corner and saw the backs of a couple of people turning the opposite corner. Matthew’s nurse was busy getting him set up. I could see in her face they had had a scare. We know her well. She’s been Matthew’s nurse almost every time coming out of surgery and I had seen that look before; after Matthew’s first surgery when he gave us a scare. She told us Matthew’s saturations had dropped into the 40s and they couldn’t figure out why and they couldn’t get them to come back up. They just all of a sudden came up-they had no explanation of why. I know why! Heavenly Father heard a very scared mother’s plea and He took care of things!


Waiting for surgery


Our fabulous nurse Gaylene


Right after surgery...it always looks the same...he is just bigger